Good News

 Hello guys.

So today i will make it short.

The good news that i wanna tell is i got to teach at the same school hehehehe.

So i will not continue my last entry since i extend my journey/experience here.

So basically i already applied that contract service from the gov but they didnt call me yet.

Since the gov is so slow and take forever to give the school some teacher to handle the evening session, they reach out to me to be a teacher again.

But this is under the school and parents of the students organization so i will be paid through them.

I dont know when is this over so i will just follow the flow and just be ready whenever it will end later :)

But overall, im happy just because i dont need to fill in my unemployment by searching other job.

I really grateful that the school management and also the organization consider to take me to teach there eventho im not that experience.

Yup i only experience in teaching just 3 months because of my practicum. 

So im glad i can earn more.

So thats all for today. I will come again if anything happen.

bye

End of My Practicum Journey

Annyeonghaseyo yeorobun!

Its been a while i didnt update my blog. Last time im here is on September 2024.

That was 8 months ago ffs.

Yes im still alive rn lmao.

I hope everyone having a good life eventho no one reading this.

So, as what the title said, yup i already finished my practicum last 28 May.

The last week is so chaotic af.

I think i want to recap what happened during my 3 months practicum since i already free this time.

But i really dont know how to start and where to begin with.

Should i start from the first day or from the preparation i made during Nov 2024?

Maybe i will just tell here the short story since im not that in the mood to express my feeling.

Yup sometimes it be like that. When you have time, then you might not in the mood to write something expressive.

Okay, so i start my practicum on 3 March which is the second day of ramadhan.

That day was so embarrassing because i thought my other friends that from my uni didnt went to the school yet.

But im the one who late. I discover that all my unimate that teach at the same school already meet with the principal. LOL

That was very bad first impression of me to them.

So my teaching journey is going well as time goes on.

I take the advantage to use the hybrid class since it have smartboard inside.

I take the opportunity to make extra class for my students since i didnt manage to finish the lesson for their examination.

All is well until...

Suddenly someone have a crush on me and i didnt notice it.

Its not like im not noticing it but i just dont want to catch feeling or like being delusional??

The thing is i heard from my student that he just broke up with his gf and that gf is non muslim.

That was freaking 24 April yk. That time i just like " oh so what i should do with that info".

Now i realise why i should know about that lmao.

Ok so this whole situation became chaotic 4 days before i end my practicum which is during teacher's day on 25 May.

This one teacher suddenly called me to have a talk with him and we did.

He just told me about that guy want to know me or i can say is want to try me laa kalau in malay wkwkwk.

I told that teacher that i did notice about that guy behavior but i just dont want to over react about it.

Okay his first move is on 8 May which is a day after my practicum project day.

On that thursday, i already went to Penang to accompany my mother like always.

Suddenly he asked me if im teach bm or not. Of course NO. I told him that my friend is the one who teach bm instead.

I thought that he just end like that since he is searching for bm teacher and maybe he just proceed contacting my friend but no.

He just go on with another question like my subject and ask e to teach him marking math paper.

I know that time was so cringe af since i dont understand why me that he ask for the guide on marking math paper??

But i just chill and told him that i can but my practicum will end 10 days after math paper so it quite difficult to arrange our time.

So the conversation end like that.

Then after a few days, on Sunday 11 May, i just taking care of my relief class at the dewan terbuka.

Suddenly he come from nowhere and like talking with the students i take care of. Like asking them why they not taking the psychometric exam.

because of the students is chinese they didnt understand him aso i just casually answered him.

Then he talk about he want me to teach im on marking math paper lol.

So that time im quite shy so he just end the conversation there.

Fuhhh that was so long. It have many series guys. I feel like i want to end the story here wkwkwkwk

Can i just recap like a tentatives?

Ok so it like this:

24 April - my students talk about him broke up with his non muslim gf

26 April - some teacher talked about him liking me during kenduri anak pengetua (based on my friend)

30 April - first meeting for rugby (we both as the teacher advisor)

7 May - my practicum project (all teachers are there)

8 May - he make the first move to chat with me like i told above

11 May - he asked me f2f at dewan terbuka about marking math paper

13 May - he asked me about examination and i gave him the exam schedule

20 May - he ask me if i already start marking the paper, i told him yes. but the i ask him if he didnt get into our math group on tele. so i just ask the admin to invite him in to make him easier to access the schema sheet. (is it bad?)

23 May - he asked me about the theme for teachers day and i forward the message from the school main group.

25 May - a teacher (that he friend with maybe?) told me about him. that he ask me if im single or not and so on. (this i will tell on my twt instead the detail)

27 May - he ask me what to do during cocuriculum the next day since we both is the teacher advisor for bi. he shared the material to used and i print it.

28 May - the last day of my practicum. quite hectic. we didnt manage to use the material we discuss. he said sorry for the inconvenience. we talk a little bit when he come to the teachers room. the at night he asked me what my plan after the practicum.

So thats all. Im so embarrass to talk about this so i will end it here. Actually i did want to share story about my students too but this situation is taking over my brain. Later i will make a post about my student. Bye!

Continuation

Yo i left the story hanging for about a week now lol. So where did i left the story at last time? Btw this is about someone i know from online platform that i told on June post. Yup, that time i did met him once. Without anyone knowing about it. Actually he is not the first online friend that i met. I forgot that i already met with someone i know from wechat twice lol. But this one kinda different because i know him from this platform and it from that one community that no one knows others real identity. Like maybe some of them know each other but mostly people kept it secret and use other identity to portray themself. I did partly join them but not fully. I just wanna make friends there so i did use another identity to join along. Actually i create that account few years ago just for fun and for rant my a few things that i cant do in my real account. Suddenly during the end of 2020, i started curious about this community. I know them through following list that guy from wechat. Yup i did stalk him frequently during that time bcs im just like that. Always become detective to find out men behaviour. That's how i know my exes secret tho.

So, because of my curiosity i just kept follow each of them from that community that keep interact with each other. It also makes me addicted to something that i until now cant even stop it. Hopefully later i can slowly quit it. After i following the people from there, for about 1 year i just being a cctv there to know what happen and what they did in that community. It quite fun at first because they were so friendly and funny sometimes but mostly toxic. A year already past and then 2022 comes. Ok i dont wanna gatekeep the platform but it is twitter btw. So during i spent those time, there were fleet and spaces feature but then suddenly the fleet got terminated and only spaces left until now. So because of fleet is already not available there, i just got bored and i try joining some random spaces early 2022. But it actually risky because people will see you there on listener list. I dont remember it fully but my first spaces that i join was Stuart space i think. It was fun actually. But spaces after spaces, i keep joining it and keep interact like giving response from the listener spot until some ofthem notice me and shout out to me to be a speaker. I did became their attention every single spaces everytime im in and they keep asked me to speak. But because of im shy and i rarely become speaker, they did labelled/call me as someone that just listen or a listener. More worst they did accused that i will be a speaker if they invite me as a co host on the spaces. Day by day goes on with all that jokes and suddenly i slowly being there because of my studies problem. Ok im not talking about that right now.

Oh wait i forgot to tell about this somewhere in that timeline. Im not really remember when is the exact time, but i think around 18 March 2022, i did interact with this one guy in someone space then we continue to Blank's space because he (Spaghetti) gave me the link thru my dm. How did i know eventho he already deactivate his acc? I recall it from Blank's dm because i remember the exact question from him in that dm. He asked me if Spaghetti is the same person as Stuart lmao. Then i did explained to him about the Stuart's accident moment in spaces. I know them through that spaces tbh. So from that space, we did communicate through dm but i dont know why suddenly he wants to deactivate his acc. But at the same time he kept activate it just to dm with me. So because of that case, he ask me how to contact with me. During that time i just thought of my ig acc so i gave it to him and after that the account really did disappear from twitter. We continued communicate through ig dm and slowly he ask me to join discord with the friends that we used to talk in spaces. There were like 6 people in that server but now it only have like 3 people including me. I did miss how we spent our time from night to night, from iftar to sahoor. I also communicate with Spaghetti through telegram because of he wanna make traffic call with me during day. I dont know why he kept call me during that time but he called it as traffic call. He also once had to ask my number just because the internet was not stable to make a call and i did gave him but right now i dont know if he still save mine or not. I still have his btw. Day after day, we are so happy being friends in the discord but then suddenly after eid all of us slowly falling apart from each other. Firstly it is because our 3 other friends did have another server with another circle so we did slowly not communicate with each other anymore. Spaghetti also suddenly told us that he have to work oversea and suddenly our server being so empty after May 2022. Oh btw our other 3 friends did went to Spaghetti's house for eid that time and he did vc-ing with me to tell me that only me and other one person did not come to his home. I cant since i m staying far from them so- nvm. 

So after that incident, after all the members slowly left the server, we really didnt contact again with each other. Spaghetti and me also didnt even frequently contacting with each other. Sometimes i did join space that have them but it feels so different as before since we used to spent time for a long time. After a few month we didnt contact (me and spaghetti), suddenly i notice that he remove me from his follower list on ig. So i did freak out on my story ig and he notice about it and replied. But because of im so hurt by his action i also did remove him. Then we lost contact again but he sometimes stalk my story ig so he did reply my story if it have relate to him. Around early 2023, he stop with stalking and replying my story and his chat in telegram also was disappear. i assume that he dekete it for both of us. So i did think he really wanna cut off me so i just goes on with my life but sometimes i just wanna told him about im being in kl for work about 8 months but i dont have the gut to tell him.

After more than a year we become stranger, i join in stuart space and just catch up with him some news and all. But suddenly i talked about how the accident incident that happen 2 years ago and i still remember how chaotic it is. Then stuart just ask me what and where is spaghetti is so i did told him that i still have contact with him like i know where to find him but not really in contact with him anymore for about a year. Stuart just shock because people did not know that i know him because of my listener status lmao. Actually many didnt know about out discord circle so i cant blame them. So stuart actually have an issue with him and wanna contact with him back to resolve it. Stuart ask me to help him to contact with spaghetti so because of him i did dm spaghetti after a year did not contact. I asked spaghetti's permission to give his contact information to stuart but he refuse and ask why. So accidentally we just starting to communicate with each other back just because of stuart. But at the end stuart did not het to contact with him since he dont want to have relation with him anymore. I just let them communicate through me lol. But at the same time i and spaghetti did keep in contact until now. 

But actually right now we already lost in contact again for about 2 weeks now. Because we did met after the Xiumin event last time. The lost story from my previous entry. After my cousin drop me at the lrt station i supposedly have to straight go to the tbs but i did not go there. I stop at mrt titiwangsa and he pick me up there and he also drop me at tbs after we met for awhile. After that he did contact me on tuesday. I actually already replied him but i just delete it back just because it already past 24 hours, I really hate waiting and late replier so i did what i did. I felt what i felt. Actually he is so different from last time i know him before. This time, everytime he chat me and when i replied him he will respond it the day after or a few hour later. I really dont understand why whereas he is the one starting the chat first but he also the one ghosting it. I just cant stand it so that's why i did it like that. After i deleted it, he didnt even budge to double text /chat me, so i just deactivate my tele acc. Actually last month also i did deactive it once but i create it again and he also ask me on ig dm where is me lol. But this time it already 2 weeks so i think this must lead to another lost contact again. And maybe after this we will not chat or meet each other again ever.

So whatever happen next, i will just move on. Live must goes on btw. So we did met for 2 times. For what i remember, all the people especially guy that i know through internet, after i met them for 2 times we either lost contact or they have someone else. Maybe im the problem. Maybe i just not really deserve to be love. I hate men. I dont know why i keep meeting redflag guy. I think this is a sign for me to stop. Stop hoping for any romantic relationship to happen to me. SO THATS ALL BYE.

My First Concert Ever

Hello guys. Yeah as what the title said and what i already told here before this, that i bought ticket for Kyungsoo Fan Concert and i did it guys. I made it. I did go to the concert hehe. And it was my best trip ever because i got to meet Minseok too the day after the concert. The Minseok event is so sudden tbh. They just announce that he will come to One Utama for launching product event and gladly my bus can be reschedule lmao.

So starting with the concert first. I went to KL a day before. I depart from my home at 7am and arrived in TBS around 2pm. Oh before i forgot, that day was on Friday 16 August 2024. As per what my cousin and i discussed, i have to check in to the hotel first since my cousin have a meeting that evening. So, all went well until i wanna book a grab from MRT Sg Besi station to the hotel. The drivers keep cancel my booking maybe because that time is on peak hour since it after jumaat prayer time. The funny part is, suddenly a woman ask me for help to book her a grab too but right after i help her, the driver already arrived in front of us like 1 minute after i help her book it. I felt so unlucky since i book my grab for almost 30 minutes there but all the driver either too far or cancelling my booking. I actually did thought about wanna just walk to the hotel since the distance is close to the station but because of the weather is so hot at that time i just canceled my intention. Whatever it is, after a few minutes, i successfully got a driver and the check in process went well. I check in at the hotel around 3pm.

Oh btw, in between i busy with the grab suddenly my cousin told me that her meeting got canceled so she went home and take her bringings at her house to join me staying at the hotel for 2 nights. Actually i did plan to treat her for dinner at sukiya. And the plan went well since her meeting got canceled hehe. Ok after i check in, i get some rest etc. for around 1 hour until my cousin arrived. Around 4pm we went to Pavillion BJ because the nearest sukiya branch is in there. Idky that time it hard to get a parking because we kept go back and forth in the parking lot until we got to dine in at the sukiya around 5pm. Usually people got an issue to eat at sukiya since it always have a long queue to dine in there but us got in there just right after we walk at the door lol. Maybe the hard time in the parking lot is enough for us so we can dine in so easily wkwkwkw just kidding.

We did eat a lot that night until i felt so nauseous and cant think anything. i really lost track of what time we did finished our dinner. And i also dont know what happen after that because i feel like wanna throwing up but im glad i did not. After the dinner we just went shopping for raincoat at mr diy for the concert day because people telling us on twitter that it will be raining tomorrow evening. So it better to be prepare just in case it really happen (it did but we didnt get to use it lol since it raining only when we already got inside the venue). We wandering in that shopping mall for so long because we cant even walk properly due to our stomach got filled up with food and need to walk slowly and even stop for awhile to avoid vomiting, I even went to the toilet because i dont wanna make a horrible scene there lmao. After we bought the raincoat my cousin bought us chagee drink before go back to the hotel. We also went to family mart near the hotel before that. Just buying some breakfast and medicine for the aftermath we did for dinner hahaha. After we take a rest, we prepared the outfit and bags for the event that night just in case we in rush tomorrow. 

Later the next day, I wake up before my cousin eventho she sleep before me. I think i sleep around 4am or late than that i dont even remember since im so nervous and excited. I take my breakfast around 9am just to let my stomach process my digestion system. iykyk wkwkwkwk. I need to eat first to make it out. We plan to go to the venue around 12pm but unfortunately girls always be girls. And we also Melayu so janji melayu ya hahaha. In between 9am until 12pm+ we wash up and getting ready. Oh we also did rent samsung S23 ultra for the event. But actually we did book to pick it up on friday but the owner got some issue and also forgot about our booking lol. So she did hand over her s23 during the time we getting ready that morning. It is so sad that we got no time to discover/explore the phone that much before the concert but its okay at least we can use it properly. Gladly we can find some tutorial for the setting on tiktok.

When we arrived at Axiata, we thought that the parking fee will be below than rm20 but it rise up to rm30 lmao. I dont know wether we got scam or what but i found out someone on tiktok paid rm20 for parking fee for that day. Yeah i know it already passed but it is what it is. I hate capitalism. So after we park, i just rush to the surau (cant think the word in english) to pray for zohor. After i finished with my prayer, i plan to collect some freebies because i literally bookmark too many twt for the freebies. Unfortunately i didnt get to collect even one freebie since it so hot and there were too many people there. We just take some photos and wait for someone to hand over her lightstick that my cousin rent from her last night. Oh yeah i forgot to tell that my cousin trying so hard search for the ls to rent during that night. She said that it was for the me because she want me to feel like a real concert since it was my first time. Eventho it was not a full concert, she said that it for the vibe and feel lmao. Kudos for her effort btw. I really appreciate her for that eventho the ls not the latest version at least i got some photo with it and feel like i belong to the fandom. Cringe.

We did waste 2 hours+ of our time outside the venue before around 5pm we queue to get in the venue. NGL the organizer is so messed up. There literally no sign or even a guide from the staff where we should queue or which door is our section and so on. The benefit for everyone also they didnt handle it right because some of us didnt get the PC before entering the venue. Gladly i got the PC and hand banner before get in. But we should get 3 items before get in the hall. PC, hand banner and lyrics card(?). The organizer really fuck up. The price list for the concert also very expensive compared to other organizer that handle a WHOLE CONCERT. Not only that, the queue for photo booth and fanboard also messed up. I didnt see any staff handle/guide the crowd to properly get in line and make it smooth for the other fans to use it too. Thats why i didnt tell about this at the first place because i didnt even interested to join in line because it looks so horrible to wait like that for nothing. Moving on, so after we found our seat, we take some photo before the concert start and my cousin also bought mineral water from the venue. Yup, need to buy there since we cant bring our own water inside. I dont understand why but yeah. Btw, our seat is the cheapest one which is CAT 3 and the price is RM497 include the tax and fee.

Eventhough the seat is the cheapest and far from the stage, i did enjoy Kyungsoo performance and i love how he interact with the fans. Very demure, very mindful, very cutesy. LMAO. He is so handsome and of course he is so cute. Thankgod i didnt die that night because of his cuteness. I dont care what people say but he is sooo cute to me. You guys should see him from my pov. Im still having PCD eventho it already 2 weeks ago lol. Normal people want him to be their partner but i want to adopt him as my cat wkwkwk jk. I just hope that my son will be like him. Not just his visual but also his personality and his manners. The singing and cooking skill is just extra. I dont know how to express how the concert going but it went well. I love the part where he smol jump, thinking while pouting, running happily to main stage and also the part he guide us to do our fanproject properly. Because of our fail to do it together, i got to hear him sing my favorite song from his 1st mini album. Im so glad we fail it at first and then successful to sing it together with him perfectly. I just love how he react. Btw the concert went well for 2 hours+ and of course it doesnt enough for me :(

After the concert, we just wait for the owner of the ls to return it back to her. Since the ls owner is VIP seater so she got some extra time with kyungsoo with send off session. After we did return it back, we just join some crowd that gather around the gate. Maybe they though Kyungsoo might use that way to get out but its not. Our time just got waste by waiting there for noting lmao. Right after that which is around 10pm we plan to eat our dinner as per kyungsoo request us to eat. Since restaurant already closed so the instant one is the solution. We go to cu mart near taman desa petaling(?) and eat 2 cups of ramyeon there. It been so long i didnt went outside that late for food especially without my family. Last time i hang out that late with my friends were back then before pandemic happen. I miss the old time tbh. So, after we eat our dinner, we went back to the hotel and of course we struggling with the transfering files from the phone since our own phone is iphone. We did try to transfer but little did we know the adapter that provided by the phone owner is broken. So we plan to buy a new adapter the next morning before we go to One Utama. Fortunately there was a gadget/electronic store near the hotel. Btw, i actually buy a 258gb(?) sd card and i also consider to buy from samsung but im just stupid for not find out about the s23. That goddamn expensive phone didnt have sd card slot ffs. So i need to transfer the files just like my cousin. Thankgod i have more storage in my phone because i clear it every month.

Tbh, we actually plan to go to OU early because we want to take a 4 cut photos at photoism but as always, janji melayu wkwkwkwk. We canceled our plan and just go with the flow. I actually didnt get to sleep well because of PCD, I wash up and getting ready around 9am, And then around 9.30am when my cousin wanna take a shower, suddenly i smell something burnt. I shout asking my cousin if she smell it too since she is inside the bathroom and she said she smell it too. We got panic and feel like want to check outside the room to confirm about what we sense and yes, the outside of our room already have a dark puff of smoke. I told my cousin to shut the door back because it no use to open it if the smoke will enter the room and also the people outside doesnt even care to tell us what happen and what to do. We got panic by ourself and pack our stuff just in case need to get out from the building, It is so funny when i think about the situation again. The way my cousin didnt get to take a bath and me with my luggage. But i really glad that i thought of calling the receptionist just in case they still can pick up the phone i just wanna make sure what we should do in that situation and the receptionist said that we dont need to get out from the building since the fire happen only in one room and already cool down. I cant imagine what if we get out with our condition that time it looks so dumb tbh wkwkwkwk. So we just getting ready as fast as we can so that we dont get involve with any incident like that in the meantime. But the situation is so funny to me. Right after i done getting ready i saw the firetruck coming and the fire fighter also running. But when we look outside the room it already clear lmao. So funny.

So we did check out around 10am+ and bought the adapter for transfering files between phones near the hotel. Because of our plan already ruin, we keep thinking about roti tisu since last night just because of kyungsoo eat it. We search for mamak to eat it for breakfast but it is so hard to find one so we gave up. We just eat inside OU. I ate salad and my cousin ate the spaghetti from the secret recipe. While we wait for 2pm which is the Minseok event started, we struggling with the transferring process. We eat there just because it have plug to charge our smartphone lmao. The s23 got drain so fast because of the transferring.

So we did that around 1 hour there and went to the LG Oval where the event placed right after finish transferring files. There were so many exol and people that waiting for Minseok. They were singing and chanting before the event started. When Minseok arrived, we know that our spot is the worst because he got covered by the props. So i just got some clip from the lcd behind him for about 3 minutes lol. The concert day my cousin record all the performance using the s23, and for this event it is my turn to shine wkwkwk. I did record Minseok by raise up the phone above my head. It really hurt my arm since i record it nonstop for 10 damn minutes. But it actually worth it. Eventho he just show up there for like 30 minutes but it really fun. At least i can experienced that kind of surrounding. It really my first time too for waiting for an artist in a mall. Btw Minseok look so damn cute too ngl. Idk but with the crop top jacket made him look young than his actual age is.

After the event ended, my cousin send me off at the nearest mrt putrajaya line station so that i can go to tbs faster without need to change train. She drop me around 4pm+ since she need to return the s23 before 5pm.

This story end here since the story after this is not about concert or even meeting idols. I will make another entry/post for it. But i did make it to tbs before my bus arrived hehe. BTW, meeting 2 exo members in a weekend isnt in my wishlist before. It is such a great time. Oh before i forgot to tell about how i even get the permission to go to kl yes i just told my parents the truth but i told them less than a month before the concert day wkwkwk. It not like i ask for their permission but just informing them that i will go to the concert lmao. Sorry mom. Sorry dad. I have to. I just have the feeling that if i told you guys early, like right after i got the ticket, i bet you guys will told me to let go the ticket. It is because the span between ticketing day and concert day is more than 2 months so it will make it too risky if i told you guys early. So i think thats all for tis entry. I will try to write about what happen after i got on the train in the next post ASAP. BYE!

Current Update

Annyeong yeorobun.

Its been a while tho.

Im here just wanna update about my life rn.

Btw, about my last entry, my ex really disappear into thin air kwkwkwk

But i did contact him during eid through my mother number to apologise about what happen last time.

And also contact his gf or ex idk what their relationship rn but yeah i did contact both to be cautious.

I used my mom number because he already lost my number so i didnt want to risk myself by contacting him using mine and he bothering me there.

Okay, so right now i already done with my first semester.

Actually my last online class was on 1st June but it officially ended on 10th June since i answered my last quiz that day.

So it been 16 days i free from academic stress lol.

Actually i have so many things to write here but i will make it short.

Last May i just bought tix for Ksoo Fancon.

So im so excited but at the same time im scared to tell my mom since she told me before this that we are prohibited to go to any concert type of event.

Just because of our religion related so thats why.

I plan to just tell my mother that i go staycation with my cousin there.

i hope it will not seem suspicious at all.

I will tell her the reason want to staycation is because my new semester will start the next month so i hope it will convincing her.

Oh btw i have met my online friend last 2 weeks ago.

it was my first time tho.

I never met online friend before this. I mean friend that dont know my real identity.

My online friends that know real me i already met them a lot.

I also didnt meet my uni friend that i only know them online yet lmao.

So i think thats all.

I really dont have any mood to write that long since i have to think hard to write this HAHAHAHAH

Ok bye guys.