Continuation

Yo i left the story hanging for about a week now lol. So where did i left the story at last time? Btw this is about someone i know from online platform that i told on June post. Yup, that time i did met him once. Without anyone knowing about it. Actually he is not the first online friend that i met. I forgot that i already met with someone i know from wechat twice lol. But this one kinda different because i know him from this platform and it from that one community that no one knows others real identity. Like maybe some of them know each other but mostly people kept it secret and use other identity to portray themself. I did partly join them but not fully. I just wanna make friends there so i did use another identity to join along. Actually i create that account few years ago just for fun and for rant my a few things that i cant do in my real account. Suddenly during the end of 2020, i started curious about this community. I know them through following list that guy from wechat. Yup i did stalk him frequently during that time bcs im just like that. Always become detective to find out men behaviour. That's how i know my exes secret tho.

So, because of my curiosity i just kept follow each of them from that community that keep interact with each other. It also makes me addicted to something that i until now cant even stop it. Hopefully later i can slowly quit it. After i following the people from there, for about 1 year i just being a cctv there to know what happen and what they did in that community. It quite fun at first because they were so friendly and funny sometimes but mostly toxic. A year already past and then 2022 comes. Ok i dont wanna gatekeep the platform but it is twitter btw. So during i spent those time, there were fleet and spaces feature but then suddenly the fleet got terminated and only spaces left until now. So because of fleet is already not available there, i just got bored and i try joining some random spaces early 2022. But it actually risky because people will see you there on listener list. I dont remember it fully but my first spaces that i join was Stuart space i think. It was fun actually. But spaces after spaces, i keep joining it and keep interact like giving response from the listener spot until some ofthem notice me and shout out to me to be a speaker. I did became their attention every single spaces everytime im in and they keep asked me to speak. But because of im shy and i rarely become speaker, they did labelled/call me as someone that just listen or a listener. More worst they did accused that i will be a speaker if they invite me as a co host on the spaces. Day by day goes on with all that jokes and suddenly i slowly being there because of my studies problem. Ok im not talking about that right now.

Oh wait i forgot to tell about this somewhere in that timeline. Im not really remember when is the exact time, but i think around 18 March 2022, i did interact with this one guy in someone space then we continue to Blank's space because he (Spaghetti) gave me the link thru my dm. How did i know eventho he already deactivate his acc? I recall it from Blank's dm because i remember the exact question from him in that dm. He asked me if Spaghetti is the same person as Stuart lmao. Then i did explained to him about the Stuart's accident moment in spaces. I know them through that spaces tbh. So from that space, we did communicate through dm but i dont know why suddenly he wants to deactivate his acc. But at the same time he kept activate it just to dm with me. So because of that case, he ask me how to contact with me. During that time i just thought of my ig acc so i gave it to him and after that the account really did disappear from twitter. We continued communicate through ig dm and slowly he ask me to join discord with the friends that we used to talk in spaces. There were like 6 people in that server but now it only have like 3 people including me. I did miss how we spent our time from night to night, from iftar to sahoor. I also communicate with Spaghetti through telegram because of he wanna make traffic call with me during day. I dont know why he kept call me during that time but he called it as traffic call. He also once had to ask my number just because the internet was not stable to make a call and i did gave him but right now i dont know if he still save mine or not. I still have his btw. Day after day, we are so happy being friends in the discord but then suddenly after eid all of us slowly falling apart from each other. Firstly it is because our 3 other friends did have another server with another circle so we did slowly not communicate with each other anymore. Spaghetti also suddenly told us that he have to work oversea and suddenly our server being so empty after May 2022. Oh btw our other 3 friends did went to Spaghetti's house for eid that time and he did vc-ing with me to tell me that only me and other one person did not come to his home. I cant since i m staying far from them so- nvm. 

So after that incident, after all the members slowly left the server, we really didnt contact again with each other. Spaghetti and me also didnt even frequently contacting with each other. Sometimes i did join space that have them but it feels so different as before since we used to spent time for a long time. After a few month we didnt contact (me and spaghetti), suddenly i notice that he remove me from his follower list on ig. So i did freak out on my story ig and he notice about it and replied. But because of im so hurt by his action i also did remove him. Then we lost contact again but he sometimes stalk my story ig so he did reply my story if it have relate to him. Around early 2023, he stop with stalking and replying my story and his chat in telegram also was disappear. i assume that he dekete it for both of us. So i did think he really wanna cut off me so i just goes on with my life but sometimes i just wanna told him about im being in kl for work about 8 months but i dont have the gut to tell him.

After more than a year we become stranger, i join in stuart space and just catch up with him some news and all. But suddenly i talked about how the accident incident that happen 2 years ago and i still remember how chaotic it is. Then stuart just ask me what and where is spaghetti is so i did told him that i still have contact with him like i know where to find him but not really in contact with him anymore for about a year. Stuart just shock because people did not know that i know him because of my listener status lmao. Actually many didnt know about out discord circle so i cant blame them. So stuart actually have an issue with him and wanna contact with him back to resolve it. Stuart ask me to help him to contact with spaghetti so because of him i did dm spaghetti after a year did not contact. I asked spaghetti's permission to give his contact information to stuart but he refuse and ask why. So accidentally we just starting to communicate with each other back just because of stuart. But at the end stuart did not het to contact with him since he dont want to have relation with him anymore. I just let them communicate through me lol. But at the same time i and spaghetti did keep in contact until now. 

But actually right now we already lost in contact again for about 2 weeks now. Because we did met after the Xiumin event last time. The lost story from my previous entry. After my cousin drop me at the lrt station i supposedly have to straight go to the tbs but i did not go there. I stop at mrt titiwangsa and he pick me up there and he also drop me at tbs after we met for awhile. After that he did contact me on tuesday. I actually already replied him but i just delete it back just because it already past 24 hours, I really hate waiting and late replier so i did what i did. I felt what i felt. Actually he is so different from last time i know him before. This time, everytime he chat me and when i replied him he will respond it the day after or a few hour later. I really dont understand why whereas he is the one starting the chat first but he also the one ghosting it. I just cant stand it so that's why i did it like that. After i deleted it, he didnt even budge to double text /chat me, so i just deactivate my tele acc. Actually last month also i did deactive it once but i create it again and he also ask me on ig dm where is me lol. But this time it already 2 weeks so i think this must lead to another lost contact again. And maybe after this we will not chat or meet each other again ever.

So whatever happen next, i will just move on. Live must goes on btw. So we did met for 2 times. For what i remember, all the people especially guy that i know through internet, after i met them for 2 times we either lost contact or they have someone else. Maybe im the problem. Maybe i just not really deserve to be love. I hate men. I dont know why i keep meeting redflag guy. I think this is a sign for me to stop. Stop hoping for any romantic relationship to happen to me. SO THATS ALL BYE.