I Miss Myself

Assalamualaikum!

firstly, i just want to let you guys know that i'm already single.

i just break up with him on 31st January 2020.

the reason why we broke up was when i told him we should just let the relationship end.

because i don't want both of us or one of us will get hurt.

i just tell him that i'm already dishearten in this relationship.

i didn't tell him about what i'm really into because it will hurt his feelings.

this all because i start having scandal last July.

but i think he already know because he read my post at the fb page.

if he don't know about it maybe he really didn't understand what i'm typing there because it is in english btw.

i can't believe i'm ending my almost 5 years relationship like that.

i hope he can handle his feelings well.

i know he is so kind and his heart is so pure.

from 18th March 2015 until 31th January 2020.

actually the initial date we just assume it around 18th March since we just agreed to have relationship after having feelings with each others.

we choose 18 because my birthday is 14 and his is 22 so to be equal it should be 18.

hahahahahaha. memories.

idky after we breakup i didn't feel anything.

maybe i already too much dishearten.

i know i'm the wrong one here but he also didn't have any effort.

i told him it's hard to have proper date in my hometown since my parents are very strict.

i told him to come where i'm studying and we can date there because it will be more comfortable.

but he gave so many excuse and i really don't understand why he don't want to try it for once.

we only have a lunch date once. we really didn't have proper date.

that lunch date is on valentine day btw.

14th February 2019.

i know he already give me everything i want. yeah, all the item he gave is because i'm ask him to buy for me.

not by his thought of me or what. sometimes i'm so disappointed.

i'm not bragging that but after all this i realise that all the thing he gave me all is because i ask him to buy for me.

so i don't want this to be long so i want to end it here. about my relationship.

now i just want to inform that the kl guy never come back since then.

it's already more than 100 days.

i don't know i should just wait for him or what.

but recently, not recently but it is early November, i start to get acquainted with someone.

also from wechat. he is from Terengganu.

he is so straightforward but he is so dangerous.

i think he treat everyone like that so right now i just want to try avoid him because i'm afraid i'll fall for him.

idky i think i already in love with him. but i really want to avoid him because i think he is a fuckboy.

yeah. that is the right term for him.

i don't know why lately i like guy with that personality.

or everyone also like me?

easily fall for fuckboy and player.

i don't know if he take me seriously or what but for now i think i should stop make a fake hope into a trustworthy things.

i don't want my feeling get hurt like before again.

enough for the fuckboy things. i hate them.

i really wish i will end up with someone who really serious to be with me.

ok now i think i should stop typing since it already past 12a.m.

good night guys~