I Don't Know Anymore

 Hello everyone especially my dear blog.

Long time no see.

currently my life is so messed up and complicated but here i am want to rant about it today.

so, i just want to update the news from my recent post.

basically my ex already married last 3 february. i just know about this on 12 march.

How do i know about this? i just curious about them so i stalked her wife.

when i saw the picture and their status changed i just dont feel anything,

i feel empty like saw someone stranger got married. whatever it is i cant congratulate him since we already lost contact from the start of our breakup.

next, about my relationship with the guy i know from wechat.

since i last update here last february, the timespan from that moment until last november it is so crazy.

what i can conclude is i got played.

he start to ignore me on may and i didnt realize about that and just got played.

but on october i met him at bangi resort hotel. since i go there with my mom and grandma, i sneak out to met him while pretending to get food order.

that evening we just walking while drinking the coffee that he brought.

on that night also i met him but with my mom permission.

yeah of course we met only in the lobby hahahaha

my mom cant let me go far away from the hotel.

on that night i just accompany him eating his dinner.

im glad i didnt buy anything.

we just spend that night talking.

but when my curfew time arrive, he suddenly wanna give me money because he didnt give me any present on my birthday.

and im glad i didnt take it.

and suddenly after a month he kept give hint on story ig that he already have a girlfriend

so i take that chance to stop our relationship there.

i paid him the coffee price and just go silent. im glad i still have his bank account number.

So because of that, i got so frustrated and installed tinder for fun.

but suddenly someone approach me on telegram and he told me that someone from his tinder give the id to further their conversation.

but unfortunately it is me so i just told him i didnt give anyone my tele id.

because of that i just play along and we get to know each other.

but after a few days we stop it because i told him i cant go any further since i dont know him and i have trust issues.

after a month (late december) we didnt contact with each other, suddenly he message me on tele that he was in my city.

i dont get why he contacting me back but he just told me that because he travelling with his family even though we cant see each other.

after a few weeks he expose himself. all his social medias. it is because i still have trust issue.

it is all sweet on the first 2 months but now i dont know what happen with us since he already have a new job.

i think it is true what people told on social media that we can know someone heart after 3 months.

oh btw, i got fond with space on twitter earlier this year.

i got some friends from there.

it is nice to know people in every side and age.

Oh before i forgot, i was further my study last march 2021. Master of data science.

but i got dismissed on my second semester because i cant  with this environment.

 i failed 2 papers. on my first semester i already failed one paper and got probation.

i know my life is so messed up from here. i got loan and my study didnt even finish.

i dont know what to do anymore.

i just lost. cant think and plan my future.

i hope i can figure out what i should do next.

So thats all from me. i dont know how to explain it anymore since i dont have any feeling.

whatever happen, happen. it is what it is.

Goodbye my precious diary.