The End of My Last Semester But Still Not End Yet

Assalamualaikum my blog.

yup i know lately i kept update you so often.

this is because i want to let go what in my heart since i didnt have anyone to tell my problem with.

so what i meant to tell by the title is my final exam is over this morning but,

i still have 3 more report that i kept delaying my work since after the eid.

i cant because i very dislike this type of subject.

i dont like to read you should know.

so i had already past the deadline anyway.

whatever it is i will try to do it and submit before next week.

and there were so many circumstance during all this pandemic happened.

i feel so disgusting because i hating myself too much.

i kept think that i should just die idk why im like that.

this 2 weeks i kept talking to myself in my story ig that i set it as close friend only can view which is only me in there.

not only that, i also crying a lot because no one care about me.

firstly because of my group project.

my friend keep delaying the work and make me got anxious.

other than that i cried because of no one hear me when im talking.

it happen so often.

if im talking there will be other people talking and i even just keep talking and then i just get away from there instantly after i said what i want to say.

in the whatsapp group also, my friend ignore me and on that time im asking a serious question so im just do it the way im feel right and then i just ghosting them on that group even they say sorry.

idk why im feeling unwanted and no one care about me.

even my mother.

i kept want to talk with her but she just-

ignore it maybe she thought that im okay.

but im not.

so whatever it is, that is it. what im feeling all this while.

i just need a break. i need to meet my friend and go for a walk or whatever can heal me back.

 i just feel so lonely i think.

so i just cant wait to meet my friend the end of this month.

i just hoping that my family can let me be with my friend for at least 3 days.

there is no next time because i learn from experience.

because girls is different than boys. the friendship is so differ.

so i hope i can go travelling with my friends.

i think thats all i want to tell here.

there is only 2 more that make my semester not ending yet.

my delayed report and fyp.

so good night my dear online diary.

i love you 3000.

always.

💞